|Edwin Echegoyen and Rodrigo Martinez|
By Edwin Echegoyen
2003 was an eventful year for me. My mother was diagnosed with terminal stomach cancer, and I met the love of my life, Rodrigo Martinez. Back then I did not realize how these two events would come to impact my life, but even then I had a strong sense that that my life would not ever be the same.
Until I met Rodrigo, I guess you could say that I was unsuccessful at dating; I never met anyone with whom I clicked. Tried as I might to find a mate that special person eluded me. I believe this stemmed from my church upbringing because I grew up as a born-again evangelical Christian. When I was 15, I left El Salvador to join my father and stepmom in the United States. At that age I did not have a firm understanding of my sexual orientation, but I wrestled with the realization that I was attracted to other guys. It would prove to be a long journey.
With a career as a federal employee well underway, I had almost completed my Master Degree, when, in my final semester of school in 1999 I got engaged to a woman. In my mind it was the perfect timing: to finish my Master’s Degree, plan a wedding and start a family. That was what was expected of me by my family and I was eager and willing to fulfill my new roles as husband and father. And as you might expect, the pressure I put on myself to do everything expected of me brought the house of cards crashing down. I couldn't go through with it. I broke off my engagement because I realized and accepted that I was gay and I could not lie to her and live my life as a big charade. Needless to say it took me a while to bounce back.
A few years later, I met Rodrigo at the gym. Although he was 10 years my junior, he was mature beyond his years and had a caring, generous spirit. As our dating grew more serious, it was an easy transition for me to think of him as my life partner. He was such a sensitive and thoughtful person and everyone who came into contact with him noticed these traits. As time passed, he came to know my mother and the rest of my family, and they, too, embraced him as an “adopted” relative. Our relationship developed very naturally, and before long, we started living together in the Rockville, Maryland, a suburb of Washington, DC.
Living with Rodrigo and settling down to a domestic routine was one of those things in life that is so easy to take for granted. I had never been happier. Our relationship blossomed with each year. We were mutually supportive and emotionally interdependent as a couple.
Over time we realized that we had developed a deep and abiding love for each other. We were extraordinarily compatible. We shared the same humble origins in El Salvador; the same religious upbringing; the same language; and enjoyed the same food. But our newfound happiness was interrupted by events in 2004. My mother, who had been struggling with her terminal diagnosis, took a dramatic turn for the worst and died in March. My mother's death was devastating, but the pain of such a huge loss was made bearable only because I had the incredible support and unconditional love of Rodrigo. To this day I still cannot comprehend how Rodrigo, despite being young himself, was able to summon the strength to be so strong and caring at my moment of intense grief. Rodrigo saw me through my worst moments, and he never wavered in his commitment and compassion for me.
That summer we decided to go on vacation to Puerto Rico with three other gay couples. The eight of us traversed the beautiful island creating memories and enjoying ourselves. However, on our return to the United States, Rodrigo was stopped by the authorities. Even though we were technically on a domestic flight and he had not left the United States, they caught him. He was in the U.S. on an expired visa. (I had become a naturalized U.S. citizen many years before.)
Up to that point we really had not focused much on Rodrigo's immigration status. We had settled into our routine and we had not considered the possibility that immigration officers might one day come between us. Our relationship was strong but it was also so normal, we simply took for granted that we would be able to be together for the long term. When we did turn our attention to Rodrigo's immigration status we wrongly believed that it would be a relatively simple matter for him to acquire legal status.
At the moment Rodrigo was stopped by the Immigration Officer, I knew that if I could have married Rodrigo and sponsored him to remain in the United States he would have been eligible for a green card like any other spouse of a U.S. citizen. (Even individuals who overstay visas are not barred from a green card if they are married to an American citizen.) In those days, gay couples were just for the first time winning the right to marry in Massachusetts. In fact, if we had married in 2004, and if U.S. immigration law had recognized that marriage, Rodrigo would have been given a "green card" and he would be a naturalized American citizen by now. Instead, we found ourselves scrambling to hold onto any ray of hope offered by a never-coming immigration reform, and ostracized by a society that does not allow us to share the protection enjoyed by straight couples.
As soon as received the letter we decided to marry. Although we had been hoping to marry in Maryland where we live but we cannot wait. If Rodrigo is deported next week after 8 years together we may never get the chance to marry. While the urgency of the current situation has pushed us to this decision, it was definitely true for us that this next move was the natural evolution of a strong, committed relationship. We came to this decision with the love and support of our friends and family and with the hope that the recent decision by President Obama and Attorney General Holder to stop defending the Defense of Marriage Act in court will yield some short-term solution for binational couples who are fighting deportation.
|Attorney General Eric Holder|
We ask everyone who is reading this to help us stop the deportation of RODRIGO MARTINEZ-RODRIGUEZ (File Number A96 336 082) by CALLING both the DC and local offices of our United States Senators Barbara Mikulski [(202) 224-4654 and (410) 962-4510] and Benjamin Cardin [(202) 224-4524 and (301) 762-2974] to our Representative Chris Von Hollen [(202) 225-5341 and (301) 424-3501]. Ask them to contact the Department of Homeland Security Deportation Unit in the Baltimore Field Office immediately. We only have 8 days left to stop this deportation.